Feel Good In Your Heels--What I do When I Need A Confidence Boost
What gives you confidence? I don’t know about you, but to me, throwing on a good pair of heels instantly changes the way I feel about myself and my appearance. I’ve never really understood how something so small can change my whole attitude, but it totally does. If I throw on a pair of really good heels there is no stopping me. Don’t even try!
A few years ago, I found myself in a furniture sales position I never expected to be in. I had graduated college with a degree in interior design, followed all the suggest “steps” for success, and still ended up doing a job I didn’t want. How did I get here? Now, there is nothing wrong with sales. And if I’m gonna sell anything, it better be furniture, or fabrics, or something else design related. I just had really really big dreams for myself (the result of being a millennial I suppose). I was always assured that if I worked hard and had good intentions, I would end up RIGHT where I needed to be. Well, life happened. Repeatedly.
I never thought a sales job could change my life so dramatically, but I will never forget those 2 years, and here is why:
Not only did I meet amazing coworkers that will be my friends for the rest of my life, but I learned a WHOLLLLLEEEE lot about myself. After starting the position, I thought “wow, this is gonna be so easy!” NO. NO. NO. Not easy. For a whole month I didn’t get ANY sales. I couldn’t believe the amount of customers flowing into that store and it just wasn’t happening for me. I had no idea why….
My manager knew I had success in me and that if I just made a few adjustments-I could kick ass at the job. She took me to a few other competing furniture retailers and we worked with the salespeople as if we were going to purchase furniture. We “mystery shopped” if you will. I definitely did not understand the point of this. Until I noticed myself judging the salespeople. I wouldn’t consider myself a judgemental person, but there I was thinking “she can’t choose my furniture….she doesn’t even know how to dress herself.” AHA! A light came on in my head and for a moment, everything clicked. I hate to even admit the thought, as I know that these two things should not be directly correlated. I thought “her outfit shouldn’t be a representation of how she is as a designer…I should stop thinking like that.” The thing was though, it wasn’t just her outfit….overall she just didn’t seem confident. Something was missing.
My mom is a hairdresser. She once told me that she always makes sure that her hair looks good. She said it’s so important because if she doesn’t look put together, people will think that she won’t be able to make THEM look better. At first it seems silly, but she’s so right!
I learned something so important that day. Confidence is everything. You’re probably thinking “but Dani, it’s not confidence..it’s appearance”. NOPE. It’s confidence. Because the thing is, if I feel like I look DAYUM good, I’m gonna act like I look DAYUM good. And with that attitude, the sky is truly the limit. I’ll be selling furniture for DAYYYYSSS.
Think about when you get a new haircut after a breakup. You look in the mirror and think “oh, shit! Who dis?” You’ve got some extra pep in your step, you’re feeling FIIINE and you can’t wait (as much as you might not want to admit) to post that selfie on Facebook. You’re feelin’ brand new and you can’t even hide it.
THAT is how I feel when I dress myself well, throw on a pair of heels, and finally put on a sexy shade of red lipstick after trying on the other 72 shades….(a case of the perfection-isms).
So, after this eye-opening trip with my manager, I decided to made a few changes.
I do not (and will never) promote changing your appearance to make someone else happy. This is about making yourself happy. This is about feeling confident in YOURSELF.
My first step were my outfits. I had graduated college just one short year before this time and I didn’t exactly know how to dress for the job I had. Struggling with confidence issues my whole life, I would only buy clothes that were big and loose (I’m also a huge fan of comfort) and the oversized Urban Outfitters sweaters and tops just weren’t going to cut it. With the help of a coworker and close friend, Michael, I learned how to dress myself for my body type. I went to Michael because I knew he could give me a few things. The first, the gentle truth. Give it to me straight, Mikey. And he did.
One“issue” for me at this time was that I looked VERY young for my age. Only 23, I looked 19. I’ve always just looked young for my age, which I’ve heard (5000 times I might add) that one day I’m going to LOVE it. And, I’m sure they’re right. There were several occasions where walk-in customers actually asked my manager for a different designer because I just looked so young. I remember being so hurt…I thought “I have a design degree..I can do this!” And I could. But they didn’t know that.
Michael (in all his glorious honesty) explained to me that not only did I look young, but I was also dressed young. **Makeover ensues**
I started doing some research….
With Michael’s help, I found several “perfect” outfits and ordered them. NEXT, SHOES. Because…well, shoes.
I never had a problem being “stylish” growing up. But at that point in my life I just wasn’t doing it right for my job or my age.
Before I knew it, I had my hair done, nails done, nose done (wait, huh? jk), and I was ready to kick serious furniture sales butt.
I can’t even explain to you how different I felt. It didn’t even have anything to do with thinking I looked hot (which admittedly, I did...) but more to do with instantly feeling confident in my skills. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. “ Ya’ll, this is a real thing.
ANY doubt in my interior design skills simply vanished. It was that day that I truly started to understand the affect that your own attitude has on your success, and how your appearance can dictate not only your client’s view of you but your view of yourself.
I made my very first sale that day. I was flying high, high on life and feeling unstoppable.
After a few short years working for this store, I had gathered the confidence to go out and do interior design on my own. The job had taught me how to dress and carry myself, how to work with clients and the common obstacles that design clients face when trying to design and put their homes together. I decided to go out on my own. I started my business, and I used the skills I learned from those coworkers, every single day.
So, here are the changes you can implement now to gain confidence that will propel you toward the future you want for yourself.
Get some outfits that fit and look good. I realize this is easier said than done, but this is an opportunity for you to learn what really works for your body type. Research cuts and styles that will work for you, or pair with a personal stylist for help. Can’t afford something like that? Go to your favorite clothing store! More than likely, someone there will be able to help you find some things that will work best for you. For all my ladies, read the tidbit below.
—You need a good bra. This is beyond important. Go somewhere and get measured. I know Victoria secret does this, but for my “blessed” ladies, you’ll want to go with Lane Bryant. They are trained to fit bustier clients. The way your bra fits will determine how your clothes fit-and if your clothes don’t fit then we are headed in the wrong direction. **skurrrrrrt. turn around, bitch.**
Find yourself a makeup artist, and have them teach you how to get your desired look. Find out the cost of them to not only do your makeup, but to guide you on putting the look together yourself. Live in the Dallas area? Book a look and learn appointment with Jourdyn Moore, at JGlowArtistry. Live somewhere else? Book a skype look and learn with Jourdyn.
Style your hair in a way that makes you feel good. Growing up, I always had my bangs in front of my face, but somewhere in my mid-twenties I started feeling better with it up. I actually feel more confident with it up. I feel like “I run this shit.” FInd what works best for you and also accentuates your features.
Hold your head high and and OWN YOUR LOOK. Own it! And I don’t wanna say fake it…buuuuuut fake it. When you act confident, real confidence will follow.
I would love to hear from you while you’re on your journey to confidence. Write below with questions or comments.